2016: A Rap Sheet On The Fastest Year

I'm back.

Press Resume. 

THE BOYS ARE BACK IN TOWNNNNNNN!

Holy Hell,

Where did this year go and what happened all in these 365 days that made 2016?

I honestly don't know where to begin in terms of putting pen to paper with recording all the fun, crazy, random, and sad times that have happened these past 7 months or so.

I have moved and become and official Southern Californian. 

Tank top and sun tanning lotion-the complete package.

I currently live in Redlands, California and I gotta say this place has grown on me.

Think Main Street USA in Disneyland. 

It has that feel. 

I have had so many great memories already living down in SoCal.

From hikes, 4th of July fireworks, beach trips, Disneyland, and many more it has been one hell of a year. 

An odd one but most definitely a good one and one that I am grateful for. 

I'm on the downward slope (or upward slope honestly because life gets better) towards 30.

I still look like a kid but I feel more maturity coming with each year. 

Ups and Downs have made me feel just REAL and GENUINE with myself and hopefully with others. 

Reflecting back on this year I really have to just say I am lucky. I get so caught up in what I don't have, how broke I feel, how much I haven't accomplished compared to others, etc.

But honestly I have already lived SUCH an amazing and good life. I don't deserve half of what I have in life.

Granted I recognize much of my choices and things I do will reflect what I have but honestly I just sit back and smile realizing that the family, friends, places I've been, and things I have done are amazing.

And I'm only 25.

Before I get all sentimental and go off on more tangents I want to reflect and put down fun and happy memories:

Off the top of my mind:

1. Disneyland with LaRee and Gary and Andre

2. Moving to California after graduating

3. Watching the 4th of July fireworks from the mountains in Pasadena in my hammock

5. All the time I get to spend with my nieces and nephews

6. Landing a bank job

7. Traveling to Phoenix to see the Boys

8. Getting drunk my first time. Stupid mistake

9. Eating my first hot Krispy Kreme Donut

10. Summer days at Miss Katie's pool with the kids

11. The Symphony at Redlands University
12. Getting a Kitten:

13. Eating Fish Tacos in Santa Barbara

14. All the effort and failure with pursuing my law enforcement career

15. Reading "A Little Life"-My new favorite book

16. My podcasts: Lore, My Favorite Murder, and Last Podcast on the Left

17. Late night talks with Rachel, Tyler, Andre etc.

18. Having Little Caesars and Wine while watching Disney movies

19. Making Key Lime Pies and Bread
20. Family Reunion in Lake Tahoe:

21. Falling In and Out of Love

22. Reminding myself that I can keep going even when I feel like I fail. 

There's probably many many more that I need to jot down but that was just a quick rap sheet. 

With a year ending and a new one soon beginning I like to be cliche and reflect on the things that I need to change or improve on with myself.

With 2016 I realize through people pointing it out and myself realizing it on my own, that I need to be more positive towards MYSELF and stop downing and putting myself down.

It really is bad.

I have issues. Most people do.

For some reason I have unfortunately become comfortable with taking jabs at myself left and right.

I need to stop.

For real.

I've never truly loved who I am and that is what I am going to start (and need to) for 2017. 

Don't get me wrong, I am proud of who I am. 

A Hansen. An American. A Gay Man. An Honest Person. An Avid Thinker. A Dreamer. Etc.

I just want to be better.

Not better in the sense of being smarter or more muscular or something vain, but truly someone of high character who is loving, kind, real, thoughtful and uplifting.

I realized at one point this past year that it doesn't matter what we have in this life or what we truly do unless we somehow CREATE.

I feel I haven't contributed anything and that may be some reason why I am unhappy with myself.

Life is a huge blank canvas and I feel that I need to do more. 

It's vague sounding but I just need to be better with myself.

Confidence and ambition and health and blah blah blah.

But I love to progress and see where I was and where I am now because that is measurable and something I like.

Yesterday I was immature and annoying and cynical and so tomorrow I will do better.

Something like that. 

To be specific though I am going to work on truly being at peace with things about me.

Baldness, my voice, my body, my face, my overall character. 

Many more. 

But I hope to do so in a good and healthy way. 

To do this for fun I want to make a goal for the upcoming year.

In one years time I hope to look back on this blog and see that I will have accomplished these things I've mentioned.

In addition I hope to be,

1. Graduating from my MBA program.

2. Have a nice job lined up with a good salary

3. A new car

4. Good health

5. Maybe be in a serious healthy relationship

6. Living in Redlands or somewhere nice in SoCal

7. Built muscle and be my goal weight of 165-170

8. Have some good friends 

9. Read at least 5-10 books 

10. Established a career path that will be both financially rewarding and fulfilling

11. Grateful and Happy (Truly)

I know it's premature but thank you 2016 for all the things you brought and for the opportunity to see another year. 

Here's to 2017 and all the great (I really believe it) things that will come and the amazing experiences that will continue to make me into a better person.

Thank you and Cheers!

Heroes

I'm not sure why, but when I find that I truly respect and care for a person it has to do with a few things.

It really just boils down to Authenticity, Kindness, and Humor. 

People may have their different definitions of what it means to be a Hero and who fits

That mold.

Let's be real, Mothers as a whole are Heroes, so they already qualify and should automatically be Heroes.

I know many people out there that either don't have mothers or don't have good ones. 

I am extremely lucky to have a mother who seriously needs to be

Canonized as a Saint.

 I thought about it recently, and not sure why, but I listed my top 5 heroes in my head.

I felt that it was exactly what fits my mold of what it is to be a Hero.

These are Heroes to me personally and also should be to others!

So to start off.....

      1. Calvin and Hobbes (They count as one)

So a little background history. When I was in the 3rd grade there were the book orders (The Glory Days)

Given to us and I saw this spiky haired little kid and wanted that "book."

So I got it and realized it was a comic. 

I loved it and over the years collected every single one. 

It became a special thing to me.

To this day I still have them and even collected the special edition ones.

Calvin and Hobbes, for those who don't know about it, 

Is about a boy named Calvin and his stuffed tiger Hobbes. Hobbes isn't real but his imagination brings him to life.

Calvin is wild and zany and Hobbes acts as his friend and his adviser to things about life and adventures.

They together offer the team of a lifetime. Kind and adventurous are the two things these guys showed me growing up by teaching me to imagine, have fun and be a goof.

Still love these guys today. They helped shape me believe it or not.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Calvin_and_Hobbes

2. Homer Simpson

Yes. Really.

Again around the time I was 8-9 years old I fell in love with the Simpsons. 

I don't know what it is about cartoons and animation, but Homer stood out to me. Funny as hell and that Overweight American father, he was a great example to me.

I'm serious.

People always thought Homer was a goof and a fat fool, but really he was a loving husband, father, and Loved his family and always ended up doing the right thing. 

Homer is an American Icon to me and represents that balance between being a complete 

Fool, Father, and Funny Guy.

I really do love this fake creation.

Thanks Homer

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homer_Simpson

***At this point people probably think I'm crazy because these Heroes aren't real! But here you go...

3. John Dehlin

So many have no idea who the eff this guy is. I didn't know about him until about 2 years ago or so. 

In a nut shell John is a Mormon, well an ex-Mormon I would say, but he is a HUGE ally for LGBT

Members. 

What struck me about John was how genuine he was and how much he really cared.

He is not gay. Nor does he have a gay child. No incentive.

Just an average all American guy that has one of the biggest hearts I have come across. 

He has a podcast that is mainly targeted for Mormons to listen to to be open and have discussions about Topics.

He just promotes kindness and understanding. No political agenda or personal gain from this. That 

To me was something that made him a Hero to me because he is just trying to be kind

And loving for those who may feel isolated or alone.

He really is a great person and here is a link to his TED Talk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0MxCXjfAunk

4. Ellen DeGeneres

So this is a new addition.

Late at night one evening I was on YouTube and saw some Ellen Clips of her with little kids.

There was one of a little boy named Kai and he sang to her a Bruno Mars song.

The cutest thing ever I kid you not.

So one thing lead to another and I saw all her clips with kids, teachers, heroes, etc.

And through each of these I quickly came to see how funny Ellen is and also how kind she 

Is. 

So giving and tries to make people happy through her awkward dancing and funny antics on the show.

Plus I have a major crush on her DJ Stitch. Ha.

I love how she has comments disabled whenever children are in the clip because we 

All know there are those assholes out there who love to give their negative opinion on YouTube.

But one thing I noticed and that stuck with me when watching her show was that

At the end of each episode she would always say the line,

"Be Kind to One Another."

I had never heard that from a show on TV really. And I thought more and more about that,

She is simply trying to spread kindness ultimately and make people's lives better.

Through laughter and cheesy dancing, she promotes good in the world.

That to me is a Hero.

Here is that first video I saw of Ellen on YouTube

(When the little boy grabs her hand...I DIED haha).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GTEDgV-Wcc0

5. My Mother

Duh! No explanation needed there.

BE KIND TO ONE ANOTHER

:) 

Now What?

Usually when I start a blog I try to have a theme of some kind, but honestly today is going

To be a random one mixed together with music, links, and thoughts.

First off, I noticed that I had started this blog (or complete collection of foolishness) about 

A year ago.

So happy anniversary blog!

Speaking of accomplishments, I finished college yesterday.

I walked out of my last final and was like,

"NOW WHAT??"

I sent that to my cousin and she jokingly sent me back

Get a Life.

What's that?......

Her name is LaRee but I have her as LuhIdiot in my phone (Fellow Fools)

So remember when people use to make mix tapes or burn CDs?

Oh those were the days right?

Well in this digital age I came up with a playlist of Cheesy Love Songs! 

These are my cliche songs that I like as of now.

Here is the playlist with links to the songs

I'm Yours by Alessia Cara

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A3tgV5Uoduo

Just a Kiss by Lady Antebellum

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v_yTphvyiPU

All I Ask Of You   by  Josh Groban & Kelly Clarkson

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PpA511j_-5I

Have You Ever Been In Love  by Celine Dion

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iOwcmx2-wuM

And...

Bright    by    Echosmith

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8l5nMCJKyYY

Listen to them! 

I am a secret Hopeless Romantic 

Don't tell anyone.

I've been travelling down to SoCal lately and I got to say I have gone on some awesome hikes

So beautiful.

I love being outside more and more. I get these cravings to explore and travel when I do things like hiking 

And seeing the amazingness that is motha nature. 

If you look close that's LA in the distance. Picture doesn't do this view justice.

Well this has been a sufficiently random post.

I'm going strong.

Be Kind To One Another!!

-Ellen DeGeneres 

That Inner Voice

For those of you who know me well, I was raised Mormon.

To the general knowledge of the public a cascade of assumptions and imagery 

Can come to mind when thinking of Mormons.

Polygamy (not practiced anymore), Missionaries, Big Families, Joe Smith, and many more.

I've never really declared publicly my religious affiliations and beliefs, but

Currently, I do not practice Mormonism nor belief in it. 

However, I guess you could call me an optimistic agnostic.

Lately, I have been finding myself kind of obsessing about the history and dynamic of 

The church I grew up in.

The reason for this is because it is not just some kind of part time thing you do going

To church in the Mormon church and that's it.

It is a culture that is so deep and engulfs you that you really can't cut it off

Unless you plan to disassociate with family, friends, and others. 

So it gets brought up a lot. It is a part of my identity. I still hold on to some principles I learned

No matter how much doubt or complete lack of belief in the doctrine.

I know this probably sounds like a bashing post ready to join the ranks of many ex-Mormons

Or cliche millennial college students, but I actually have been observing and seeing some changes and

Discourse occurring in the Mormon church that relates to me.

It has been nice to see the goodness in people who call out certain teachings or policies

That don't stand for what Mormonism, or even Christianity, is all about.

I know I know, who am I to hold something I don't really believe in to some standard, but honestly

Like I said it is a part of my life in many ways and is a part of my identity that I can't just pretend it isn't there.

The policy I am talking about, and what has created some waves, is in these links....

(I decided to put multiple sources so it comes across fair)

http://mormonsandgays.org/

(So this is the general outline how the Church is "suppose" to look at Gays, etc.)

But somehow they came up with this policy.....

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/11/14/us/mormons-set-to-quit-church-over-policy-on-gay-couples-and-their-children.html?_r=0

And...

https://www.lds.org/church/news/elder-christofferson-says-handbook-changes-regarding-same-sex-marriages-help-protect-children?lang=eng

And

http://thinkprogress.org/lgbt/2015/11/16/3722461/mormon-resignation-protest/

So I could be like many people and bash the church I grew up in and join the crowd of negative

Jeers and outbursts.

But instead, I have learned to simply live my life as best I can and to be a good example. 

Kick ass and prove people wrong through the goodness and happiness my life brings.

Life can get exhausting by feeling victimized and by complaining about how everything seems

To be up against me. 

But really, I have found that when I delve deep into myself and see who I am regardless of church,

Race, looks, money, class, etc. identities I really just look at who 

Ian Hansen

Is stripped to the core and through that I find I am happy because deep down is that Inner Voice

That tells me I am me. I am a good person who wants to 

Make life for myself and others happy and bring into this world as much as I can.

Shel Silverstein said it best,

Because really when you're gone what is the memory and story others

Will tell about you?

Your actions in life tell your story and I want mine to be one of good deeds and intentions

That is something that has been guiding me to live and take care of myself these days. 

I feel peaceful.

So while yes I grew up Mormon it is not something that makes me me and isn't something that 

I should be angry at if the Church makes me feel bad about myself, but really it's

Just me and that Inner Voice along the way

And when that voice tells me All Is Well

Then I can smile and be confident no matter what is going on around me.

Wisdom

45 Life Lessons Written By A 90 Year Old Woman

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. Save for retirement, starting with your first paycheck.
9. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
10. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
11. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
12. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
13. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
14. Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living, or get busy dying.
15. You can get through anything if you stay put in today.
16. A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, write.
17. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
18. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
19. Burn the candles; use the nice sheets; wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
20. Overprepare, then go with the flow.
21. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
22. The most important sex organ is the brain.
23. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
24. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: "In five years, will this matter?"
25. Forgive everyone everything.
26. What other people think of you is none of your business.
27. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
28. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
29. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
30. Believe in miracles.
31. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
32. Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.
33. Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable.
34. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
35. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
36. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
37. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
40. The best is yet to come.
41. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up, and show up.
42. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
43. If you don't ask, you don't get.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

Well said Agnes, well said, keep on rocking....

(I decided to steal Ellen DeGenere's motto to end each blog from now on, hopefully, I remember each time)

Be Kind To One Another

Behold

Behold......

I have made legit homemade bread.

For I am God.

Not really, but I've never made anything that was so rewarding ha.

Watch the Netflix documentary called Cooked.

Michael Pollan is a boss.

Decided to try and make it a goal of mine to make homemade bread for the week

Every Sunday 

Last Sunday I made with my Mom (who mostly took over),

Some classic white bread.

I made French bread today and gotta say I love the transformation.

Yeast, water, flour, salt.

As Michael Pollan says,

"It's Alchemy."

This is from the Bread Bible.

Enjoy.....

Because I sure did.

Surprise!!!

Two posts in one week?!

Yeah.

Tonight took a sort of turn I didn't expect.

My mind all the sudden had a sort of piggy back effect with some stuff that kinda rekindled feelings.

Where to start.....

Well I was making bread with my Mom.

Yes, Bread cuz that's how we doooooooooooooo. 

But really I wanted to and my Mom makes great bread so we were doing it and
At one point I had the opportunity to make a stupid comment/joke my Mom had set me up for.

A "That's we she said" type joke.

And so my Mom joked back and said jokingly

"Yep that's right. She."

And for those who know me I am a goof and say all sorts of stupid things and inappropriate at times yet I can find myself getting internally sensitive at the drop of a pin. 

I hate it. 

Like I'm a pregnant hormonal psycho.

But that little comment kinda was a tell on the internal thoughts and true feelings of what my Mom

Felt about who I am as a gay son.

To me that is.

How I took it and probably took it too far in my sensitive mind.

But anyways I didn't say much more just chuckled and moved forward making dough.

Eventually a comment was brought up by my sister about my crazy ass uncle. Literally crazy.

Gay also.

So I have always sort of had this natural resistance and disassociation with this uncle because

I HATE 

Being compared to him in any kind of way. So I voiced my opinion for a minute when my Mom and sister were discussing his mental illness and how the LGBT community therapy is telling him things...

yadadadadadada.

Anyways I just hate the idea that this uncle of mine is the sort of gay precedent in my family's perspective on what being gay is etc.

I don't necessarily know why I have such issue with it but after we starting to voice opinions it severed some stitches that had been sown or should I say suppressed.

So where to start with those....

Honestly it doesn't matter but I just have to say from my perspective and inward reflection 

I AM SO FREAKING FRAGILE.

I just try not to show it.

All I can say is I am TRYING and TRYING to grow and be better and stronger.

And at times when I am around people, particularly family,

I have triggers that set off this sort of compound effect to where I literally feel like shit.

Like a loser.

Now this isn't a victim card being pulled.

More so an emotionally frustrated and just sad one at times because I don't really talk about

My feelings, my deep ones that is.

And for good reason.

They are depressing and bring up just days and moments in my life that aren't worth revisiting.

So I guess the first trigger is that I am sometimes told by younger siblings (who shall not be name ha), 

That I mooch off my Mom and Dad by living at home and that I am 25 and yadadadada.

And I think the reason I get so hurt and bothered inside is because deep down I believe it to be true.

I cam home two years ago like the freaking prodigal son:

BROKE

ALONE

SICK

SAD

And so it was just a time where I felt truly at a low point.

I remember getting news of me being sick a few weeks before Mother's Day in 2014 and 

I flew home from Houston to be with all the family because we were all able to be home for Mother's Day.

I remember a moment when we were all gathered outside as we were getting ready to part, all the while I 

Was sick and keeping it a secret from my family.

I remember just feeling so sad and just disappointed.

Here I was home for Mother's Day and all this happiness that is suppose to be felt at a family gathering, 

But instead stupid ass me at 23 was super sick and alone in it all.

So bringing it back to the mooching idea it just awakens the fact that I screwed up and had to re calibrate

And come home to fix my mess I created.

Humiliating and sad.

Sigh.....

And there's more. Frustration at times with my Mom,

Even though I know she has been dealt SO MUCH with me alone, along with having 7 other 

Kids.

But I just wish I could just feel comfortable and not feel like I am always having to justify myself or who I am.

It is most likely self inflicted on my part, but honestly, and I said this tonight, 

"Being gay doesn't need to be a hurdle or hard, it is this expectation set by others and people who fuel

This thought where the hardships are created and believed therefore it makes it hard."

I have been trying and trying and trying to pick myself up from two years ago, actually more like 6 years ago,

When I was forced to tell my parents over the phone that I was essentially gay.

And yet all this progress and soul searching and truly hard work I have been reaching for feels at times

Unnoticed or comes crumbling down when I hear or get around people who just make me feel, unknowingly, That I am in a corner or fenced in.

It's hard. And weighs on me a lot.

Now to give where credit is due....

My parents, yes even my Dad, 

Have helped me my entire life and I have not disregarded that at all.

My Mom as I tell many people that she literally is a saint and I don't know how she does it.

They support me, to some extent, mostly in financial support by letting me live with them.

But I just will never reach a point to where I can connect with them, mainly my Mom,

I don't care about connecting with my Dad at all. Don't even bat an eye.

But it would just be nice to have a parent like the one's I saw at that Gay Christian Network conference.

Where I literally saw genuine care and love and support for their gay child and didn't give a 

SHIT 

About being gay. Just cared about them and supported their ambitions and lives in being gay.

I guess that's my take away. 

Yes I have support.

But I need more from my Mom.

I need empowerment.

And I think that is what I think is the big piece missing.

Anyways, 

The emotions have come and gone.

I am numb and fine now.

But honestly it does suck at times. 

But hey that is life and mine is good.

I am gay. Not apologizing for that.

My life is filled with happy thoughts and positivity and hopes.

My life will be a good thing and will show those who doubt or speak or think less 

That it is filled with love and beautiful things.

I am not here to prove anything, but I hope that people can see and understand and get 

THE FUCK OVER THEIR STUPID RELIGIOUS INSECURITIES OR MORAL HINDRANCES.

Because it's funny to me. 

I'm looked at I feel as some sexual deviant. For real.

And that I am pitied or have some type of handicap.

But honestly it is those who hold those views that FUEL the damn problem. 

Not me.

It's weird I go through a cycle on emotional times.

I get sad. I self reflect and beat myself up.

Then I get angry.

Rage inside really.

But then cool down and feel better.

Maybe I am crazy.

But hell I make crazy look good.

Anyways,

Rant over.

Way too long of one.

I just want my life to be a positive image and looked at happily 

My choices and words will paint that. 

But honestly many people will still not like the most beautiful painting out there.

I am trying to have the resilience and tenacity of Winston Churchill.

Don't quit.

Things will payoff and come together.

Just stick it out and quit being a little bitch about it.

Smile and until then.

So This Happened.....

I should first start off by probably saying,

"HI MICHAEL!!!"

Haha. He's a good friend of mine and seems to enjoy this craziness of what I call a blog. 

He nudged me today with a text that read,

"UPDATE YOUR BLOG HOE!"

(True friend right there).

Anyways, a boat load has happened in the past month.

Where to begin....

I have been trying, and trying being a key word, to pursue my law enforcement career goals by trying to actually land a position as an officer, or recruit, before I graduate in May. 

Let me just start out by saying that anyone who thinks it would be easy or simple to apply and become a cop is just flat out wrong.

Never in my life have I gone through applications an application process that feels like I'm applying to be the goddamn Pope.

That being said, California is a competitive job market and a great place to live. In this past month I wanna say I've had around 5 interviews and traveled collectively by car enough mileage to get me to 

England. 

But man has it been both fun and exhausting. I missed lots of school which is great, and also decided to resign from my job at the Marriott to give me flexibility in applying to these various police departments.

But first, some pictures from my SoCal time I spent on the road. 

Shout out to my sister for letting me quite literally live with her during this past month. 

Stumbled upon this Santa Barbara Taco Stand just randomly walking.

Verdict: DELISH

Beachfront home in Oceanside (sorry bout the watermarks)

Tried taking this beautiful sunset pic through the car as I was driving, doesn't do it justice. Was in Oceanside for this one.

YASSSSS a self absorbed shirtless pic. Blurry yes because I took it in the reflection of a car window ha.

I put this up because someday down the line I will look back and actually believe I looked nice.

Oceanside Pier at Sunset

So with all the travel I have done in the past month, I have not only come to love SoCal and just the shear size of it and how many people there are, but also a little bit about myself.

My Mom always reminds me when I bitch or complain about something being hard or unfair she says,

"We can do hard things!"

Simple yet has its effect.

I was juggling so much with my schedule and applications, school, two jobs, etc. that I literally bought a daily planner this past month to jot down when I had assignments due for class, tests, interviews, police exams, physical tests for police, and more.

The interviews were probably the most rewarding yet scary thing. I of course was nervous beforehand and my sister Rachel would kinda give some advice but overall it's a mental game for me.

My first interview was with Newport Beach PD.

Went decent overall. I'd give myself a grad of a B or B+.

The next interview was with Santa Barbara. Went very well and I felt I had picked up some steam.

Then my final interview was with Santa Ana Police. Feel I nailed it. 

So I built confidence, looked good too, and just was genuine yet professional.

These things I have never really learned in college over the years. I have read tips and tricks to interviews online and gotten feedback from people, but honestly experience is the best teacher.

So after all these exams and interviews I had some down time to do a ride along with Santa Barbara. 

Don't know why I wouldn't have thought of this sooner since it gets your face out there and shows you are serious. It also does a reality check and sees if this is really what you want to do. Kinda like shadowing.

So I reported to the police department at 3:45pm. Met with the officers for their briefing for the shift. Seemed like what I had seen in TV shows. Casual yet serious and the officers joked and were super friendly. 

I then met the officer I was to ride along with, Officer Cipres.

I was somewhat nervous and tried to be comfortable following around this officer. 

Eventually we started to patrol and answer some calls that were coming in. First off the car was super nice and Officer Cipres had a badass M16 like gun right by me. 

The calls were relatively simple and Officer Cipres was very nice to people and gave good advice to me and we slowly started to get to know each other.

Our best call that turned into a huge adrenaline rush for me was when we got a call to a grocery store about a potential shoplifting going on. 

The moment we pulled up my office instantly recognize the suspect as a druggie kid he had arrested before. He told the kid to stop and the kid just dropped everything and took off. My officer rushed after him and soon they were out of sight.

I was told in advance to stay with the vehicle in the case of a foot pursuit. 

So he eventually comes back empty handed and bleeding down his arm. I was like, "You alright?" and he laughs and says, "I ate shit man haha."

He took a tumble because wearing a 30 pound equipment belt and running full speeding can make you lose your center of gravity when changing direction quick. 

So we get all these cops to the grocery store because his girlfriend was in her car and they suspected drugs and sure enough the K9 dog sniffed them out and so the car was stripped. In the meantime the officer and I were looking up this kid that got away and Officer Cipres quickly located where he lived.

We went flying to his place by car and he arrested the kid. 

Upon seeing the guy he was young but you could definitely tell he was a huge dope head. 

His skin looked gaunt and his teeth, etc, were just decaying.

Found out they had just gotten high on heroine. My Lord my Lord kids never do drugs.

Heroine is literally hell on earth from what I saw.

The entire time I kept thinking about Jesse Pinkman...

YES YOU JESSE!!! STAY AWAY FROM THOSE DRUGS!

So eventually the night wrapped up and I had a great time. Officer Cipres was a great guy and I really walked away with an appreciation for what they do. 

**Political moment.

With all the media scrutiny towards police officers I really have felt bad and frustrated for officers because they are essentially trying to do their main job in protecting and serving their communities. Yes there are always going to be some bad apples but honestly, from my experience with the Santa Barbara Police Department and Officer Cipres, he was nothing but professional and courteous to people he was serving and arresting even. 

So, be nice to cops and give them a damn break, they put themselves on the line everyday.

**Political moment over...

I also went on a hike and a bike ride around wonderful Redlands, CA with my fellow fool Andre.

Redlands really is such an awesome place. Tucked away in the Inland Empire and just a slice of Orange Heaven in the beautiful California landscape.

Look at those goddamn shorts! Smh.

Andre and I have been buds for over 3 years and what a great guy is all I can say.

While traveling the past month I also am trying to go hiking more and just surround myself with nature.

I really have become addicted to my phone and computer so I am trying to balance that out.

I feel lately that when I go to bed exhausted from doing so much in a single day, or week, or month that's a good thing. Means I'm living and using my body to actually move and progress.

I really do believe in Newton's first law,

"A body in motion will stay in motion unless acted upon by another force, and same goes for a body at rest."

Paraphrased of course.

But really when I am on the go and dedicated and focus I just keep going.

When I'm being lazy or just moping around it seems I get stuck. This past month I was on the go.

Who knows what the result will be from my efforts with these police applications and or where I will end up in a year's time. But hey I really am enjoying it, even if it is crazy at times.

This was from today....

Went for a motorcycle ride in da desert. I am from the desert so might as well enjoy the pretty sunsets that happen in it.

Did March even happen this year???

OK BYEEEEEEEEEEE

Humor Humor Humor

Thanks to a slight nudge from a friend of mine,

(Shout out)

I got off my lazy a$$ and am writing about something that I have recently 

Realized to be a crucial aspect to my thoughts and daily life.

Humor.

Now normally people would probably think duh or how cliche it is to say 

Humor is an aspect of life that is easily important;

But honestly it's how to recognize it and how to apply it into my life is what 

I felt hit me recently.

Now this isn't something profound or prophetic but honestly I realize that humor 

Really is a sort of cure all.

I read in an article a few months back about advice from some Navy Seals.

It was what I expected for the most part with general life advice, but in 

The end of the article the one thing that they said they all did when 

Things got so crazy and scary was to literally just laugh.

Laugh at the insanity of the situation you are in.

It is sort of how the saying goes, 

"I guess all one can do in the end is laugh."

How true that is.

And so for me lately I look back sometimes and really how serious we can approach

Life and treat it like some performance or test that is Life AND Death (pun intended)

But really I find that it is the silly, funny, and humorous moments that stick the most for me.

So with this BLOG being a sort of journal for myself I decided to list a couple memories

That I have where I just laugh to death at or make me chuckle.

Humor really does bring you out of the dark when you find yourself stuck in rut.

First let start off with a random memory.

Meet Forrest. Nephew of mine. 

So I was in class when I got one of many messages in a mass text from family members.

My family is huge in size so generally it is a mess to read all these texts because 

They get going and going...and going.

But I was in class when I saw this picture sent of all my nieces and nephews

Having a cousin reunion. Cute kids all lined up smiling and grinning like little kids do...

Then there is this kid. I zoomed in was so confused but then just seeing this face

This MEEEHHHHHHH face seriously made me laugh so hard in class

That I embarrassed myself and people were staring. I still laugh because I don't understand why this kid made this face for the picture. Rebel.

Another random list of memories.

LaRee (my cousin/ride or die/weird comrade) and I took a road trip several years ago to Disneyland.

Epic time. 

But we being the fools we are creating random things to do in Disneyland. 

We called it Operation Jackass.

We are so classy and cool can't you tell?

Anyways this list was a list of ideas of things to do while you wait in the infamous long 

Lines at Disneyland. 

So we mostly created personas to act out and embarrass ourselves. 

Some included:

-Being British

-Acting like Rednecks

-Acting like super negative Emo teenagers.

-Acting confused and scared

etc.

Pretty much sums us up.

Our "Magnum" faces in line

FYI I don't enjoy the ride It's A Small World. 

Clearly.

Good times in the Happiest Place on Earth. Literally.

Many things had some type of impact on my goofy demeanor and how I 

Came to be that Fool. 

FYI I truly like to be a well groomed and polite/classy person but

I let my Fool side come out at times ha.

The Simpsons, Calvin and Hobbes, LaRee. 

These three things probably are the main ingredients that formulated this 

Humor geared person I am today.

I seriously love to laugh and at times find real enjoyment making others lighten up

And not take things so seriously. 

Today, internet memes are the go to humor for me. Like I don't follow many actual people on

Instagram.

Instead I seriously follow humor pages and internet meme producers. 

What can I say, I'm socially retarded I guess.

Calvin and Hobbes is my heart and sole I realize with humor. 

I use to believe I was actually Calvin in cartoon form. 

Although I was much more shyer than him as a kid. 

To this day I love this kid.

Anyways I don't know how to wrap this up. 

I need to remember more funny lists of things.

Until then, just remember as the great Jim Gaffigan said,

So go easy on me for those who actually read this "Blog"

Amen.